guiding day with matt hayes

[Colin Bridger]

Keith, couldn't agree more. If you want to talk tortoises then start your own thread!
Clive it was of interest to a few in the begining, but you are right it should have been shut down some time ago.
ATB
Colin

 

[Adrian Williams]

I think it's great the way a thread can wander off topic when the original subject is exhausted, (in the case of this thread that was after about the third or fourth post).
I liken it in my mind to a conversation in a pub which wanders and weaves as people join and leave. So long as the conversation remains amiable with the odd injection of humour (I loved the thought of granny with the loins, intended or innocent, and resisted the obvious Rooney reference with great difficulty ) I don't see the problem and enjoy the fact that many contributors have interests other than the obvious, I feel it adds a depth and, dare I say it, an insight which adds to a sense of community.
Please don't shut it down, with the present climatic conditions putting a lid on the fishing, literally in many areas, it's the only thing worth looking in for.

 

[Chris Jones]

I think it's great the way a thread can wander off topic when the original subject is exhausted, (in the case of this thread that was after about the third or fourth post).
I liken it in my mind to a conversation in a pub which wanders and weaves as people join and leave. So long as the conversation remains amiable with the odd injection of humour (I loved the thought of granny with the loins, intended or innocent, and resisted the obvious Rooney reference with great difficulty ) I don't see the problem and enjoy the fact that many contributors have interests other than the obvious, I feel it adds a depth and, dare I say it, an insight which adds to a sense of community.
Please don't shut it down, with the present climatic conditions putting a lid on the fishing, literally in many areas, it's the only thing worth looking in for.

Hear, hear.

If you have something to say which is not relevant to this thread start a new thread!!!

Hoisted by ones own petard?:confused:

Lighten up, it's only a chuffin' forum. If the OP was ignored completely for the sake of banter it would be a different story. In this case it hasn't happened. Best non-antagonistic thread I've ever read on BFW, even if a lot of it is irreverent/irrelevant nonsense.

 

[Simon King]

I think it's great the way a thread can wander off topic when the original subject is exhausted, (in the case of this thread that was after about the third or fourth post).
I liken it in my mind to a conversation in a pub which wanders and weaves as people join and leave. So long as the conversation remains amiable with the odd injection of humour (I loved the thought of granny with the loins, intended or innocent, and resisted the obvious Rooney reference with great difficulty ) I don't see the problem and enjoy the fact that many contributors have interests other than the obvious, I feel it adds a depth and, dare I say it, an insight which adds to a sense of community.
Please don't shut it down, with the present climatic conditions putting a lid on the fishing, literally in many areas, it's the only thing worth looking in for.

I totally agree with you Adrian.

Whose round is it, anyway?

 

[Neil Smart]

Do you know what boys? This thread was started with a perfectly legitimate comment and question! And as usual it has been hi-jacked by so called intelligent people talking complete twaddle (would like to use something stronger but know I would get my wrist slapped) which is completely out of order. If you have something to say which is not relevant to this thread start a new thread!!!
Why is this not moderated???

Blimey lighten up..I was going to add that this thread has taken so many twists and turns it must be a record, but I thought that was 'flippin obvious, it's all been done in good humour, until you started questioning peoples intelligence and ''talking twaddle'' it's humour Keith, it's what makes us humans a bit special you see.
And I see you managed to pinch a bit of Fast Show material with your wrist slapping threat if you used foul language in your post. Well feel free to pm me some obscenities if you like, but please don't expect me to pop round to yours this Christmas to brighten things up, I won't come.

 

[Mark Walters]

 

[Dave Burr]

This thread has proved extremely useful and has brought to our attention some acts of intolerable cruelty - I mean, taking kids to see Birmingham v Bolton! Those poor little mites

And showing granny large loins! Is that what you call a growler?

I think this is one of BFW's best threads and it shows that we are all slightly stir crazy and about to become overloaded with the seasonal excesses. Its a spot of light relief.

Happy Christmas chaps

 

[Alex Gowney]

There is no obligation to read a thread if some people find it boring. I find this one very interesting, if a bit meandering and it does keep returning to the original topic. Wonder if Matt Hayes is reading it?

 

[Jim Foxall]

I don't know anymore.

Do you know what boys? This thread was started with a perfectly legitimate comment and question! And as usual it has been hi-jacked by so called intelligent people talking complete twaddle (would like to use something stronger but know I would get my wrist slapped) which is completely out of order. If you have something to say which is not relevant to this thread start a new thread!!!
Why is this not moderated???

I think that Keith is right in many respects but wrong on one major point. I do feel that some of us less intelligent people should be given a voice and that it would be unfair to pull the rug on our views. Some of us seemed to have missed the plot, especially on the later posts. So getting back to the point. I was fishing the Lady Pitt area of the Trent one afternoon and an old boy (in his 80s) had a couple of rods out. The area that he was fishing from was an attractive gravelly sort of beach area and he had a labrador/retriever dog with him. He was telling me that some weeks previously while he was fishing, nature called. He had recently had a prostate op and needed to relieve himself regularly. He wandered up the bank to relieve himself and no sooner had he got to the top of the bank when his alarm went off. His tripod was pulled over and the rod dragged into the water. Fortunately the water was only two or three feet deep in front of him. The old boy shouted to the dog "Go fetch" at which point the dog jumped into the water and grabbed the rod by the butt section. The dog managed to clamber ashore a little further down with the rod and the barbel still attached. Apparently there was quite a tussle between the barbel and the dog with the rod firmly clenched between the dog's teeth. The old fella took the rod from the dog and managed to land what turned out to be good sized barbel. I appreciate that this is speculation, but I'd bet that those PG Tips monkeys, bearing in mind that they are intelligent enough to make tea, would be able to use the reel, adjust the drag etc.

 

[Dai Gribble]

,but I'd bet that those PG Tips monkeys, bearing in mind that they are intelligent enough to make tea, would be able to use the reel, adjust the drag etc.

Not sure what reels the chimps use but I hear they favour Earl Greys Rods!

 

[Dave Burr]

Would a dog attack a Fox rod?

Do lurchers use hare rigs?

 

[Simon King]

Would a dog attack a Fox rod?

QUOTE]

Not if it had a bite alarm?

 

[Simon Lush]

Good Dog, have a biscuit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jkExrrm_sQ

 

[Jim Foxall]

Meandering from the point.

I completely agree with some of you that this thread has wandered far from the point. The stuff on tortoises was completely irrelevant, although the tortoise that I bought from a market was 2/6 and nowhere near
10/-, if anyone can remember predecimal. Some people would drill a hole in the rear of the shell and attach a piece off string to make sure that the tortoise didn't wander too far. Our tortoise would go missing for weeks at a time but a kindly neighbour would always return it. Another tip, some people would paint a white cross on their tortoise's shell, to distinguish it, or even a house number. When we came to move house our tortoise disappeared and we never found it. A tortoise can live for decades, it would be interesting for contributors to share experiences on for how long they have had their tortoises for. Maybe we could start a tortoise gallery, would this be a popular idea?

Can we please get back to the original point about cruelty to animals and how man has used animals over the years!

 

[Simon King]

I completely agree with some of you that this thread has wandered far from the point. The stuff on tortoises was completely irrelevant, although the tortoise that I bought from a market was 2/6 and nowhere near
10/-, if anyone can remember predecimal. Some people would drill a hole in the rear of the shell and attach a piece off string to make sure that the tortoise didn't wander too far. Our tortoise would go missing for weeks at a time but a kindly neighbour would always return it. Another tip, some people would paint a white cross on their tortoise's shell, to distinguish it, or even a house number. When we came to move house our tortoise disappeared and we never found it. A tortoise can live for decades, it would be interesting for contributors to share experiences on for how long they have had their tortoises for. Maybe we could start a tortoise gallery, would this be a popular idea?

Can we please get back to the original point about cruelty to animals and how man has used animals over the years!

By popular demand?

Not a good thing for them to do, Jim. Painting across their shells reduces the shell surface area (by filling in all the pits and pores) and drastically affects their ability to absorb heat and ultraviolet from the sun. Heat (obviously) affects their mtabolism, feeding and digestion; UV enables them to change the calcium in their diet into healthy bones and shell. Painting across the scales of a growing tortoise will stop shell-growth too. Likewise, "cleaning" the shell with oil!

In cross-section the shell isn't smooth, it's corrugated. If you were to hypothetically "iron" it out, it would be about 50% larger surface area from what you normally think you "see".

I think 2/6d is probably about right. I wouldn't know, my dad bought ours when I was about 6. I remember it fell through our coal-hole into the cellar and I was absolutely blackened after I went down to rescue it. (Anybody else remember the weekly(?) coal deliveries? ) I remember rescuing hedgehogs from down there, too.

If regularly allowed to hibernate, mediterranean tortoises can live over 150 years. I think "Lonesome George" on the Galapagos is in his late 200's now? I think he's still alive?

About 10 years ago, I had a customer who used to board her tortoise with me when she went into hospital. She was in her 90's and told me she got the tortoise from a market stall in 1910. It was a wild-caught adult at that point, which would have made it at least 100 years old. Still had a strong libido for its age. It would try and mate with anything vaguely tortoise-shaped in its cage, water bowl, rocks etc.

 

[Chris Fox]

Loving this thread... totally agree with Ade - let it wander and see what kind of stuff comes up!!

 

[Mark Walters]

Its like being onn here Chris

 

[Jim Foxall]

Matty

By popular demand?

Not a good thing for them to do, Jim. Painting across their shells reduces the shell surface area (by filling in all the pits and pores) and drastically affects their ability to absorb heat and ultraviolet from the sun. Heat (obviously) affects their mtabolism, feeding and digestion; UV enables them to change the calcium in their diet into healthy bones and shell. Painting across the scales of a growing tortoise will stop shell-growth too. Likewise, "cleaning" the shell with oil!

In cross-section the shell isn't smooth, it's corrugated. If you were to hypothetically "iron" it out, it would be about 50% larger surface area from what you normally think you "see".

I think 2/6d is probably about right. I wouldn't know, my dad bought ours when I was about 6. I remember it fell through our coal-hole into the cellar and I was absolutely blackened after I went down to rescue it. (Anybody else remember the weekly(?) coal deliveries? ) I remember rescuing hedgehogs from down there, too.

If regularly allowed to hibernate, mediterranean tortoises can live over 150 years. I think "Lonesome George" on the Galapagos is in his late 200's now? I think he's still alive?

About 10 years ago, I had a customer who used to board her tortoise with me when she went into hospital. She was in her 90's and told me she got the tortoise from a market stall in 1910. It was a wild-caught adult at that point, which would have made it at least 100 years old. Still had a strong libido for its age. It would try and mate with anything vaguely tortoise-shaped in its cage, water bowl, rocks etc.

Well, Simon, some fascinating stuff about tortoises. Everyone seemed to have a tortoise when I was a lad. I remember that some neighbours would polish the tortoise's shell with boot polish to make it shine. I'm afraid that they didn't have your in-depth knowledge and just didn't realise what damage they were causing. I guess with your knowledge of tortoises you are probably one of them tautologists or something. When your tortoise fell down the coal hole, did you wash it? I most certainly do remember coal cellars, but let's not stray off the point. Can they swim? When I was a kid I had a pond and there were some small tortoises in it, I wonder if the big tortoises are just too heavy and would sink? What I do know is that once a tortoise is on its back it can't right itself. Something that has always bothered me is whether tortoises have bones inside their shells or are they like snails? My tortoise had quite sharp claws so I suspect had some bones. Are there male and female tortoises, or are they all hermaphrodites, snails are, so if tortoises have shells then by that logic, tortoises must be.

Did your customer leave her tortoise with you when she died? I hope so as it would be a great talking point with all that history.

 

[Stephen Scaysbrook]

Jim
I think you've finally flipped. Is this a sign of you being out of it with your dodgy back. Please get it out of your system before we next go fishing. By the way do you think you'll be right for Monday.

 

[Simon King]

Well, Simon, some fascinating stuff about tortoises. Everyone seemed to have a tortoise when I was a lad. I remember that some neighbours would polish the tortoise's shell with boot polish to make it shine. I'm afraid that they didn't have your in-depth knowledge and just didn't realise what damage they were causing. I guess with your knowledge of tortoises you are probably one of them tautologists or something. When your tortoise fell down the coal hole, did you wash it? I most certainly do remember coal cellars, but let's not stray off the point. Can they swim? When I was a kid I had a pond and there were some small tortoises in it, I wonder if the big tortoises are just too heavy and would sink? What I do know is that once a tortoise is on its back it can't right itself. Something that has always bothered me is whether tortoises have bones inside their shells or are they like snails? My tortoise had quite sharp claws so I suspect had some bones. Are there male and female tortoises, or are they all hermaphrodites, snails are, so if tortoises have shells then by that logic, tortoises must be.

Did your customer leave her tortoise with you when she died? I hope so as it would be a great talking point with all that history.

Some great stuff there, Jim. I'll try and be gentle.

Herpetologist is the name you're looking for. Study of reptiles. It's easy to tell males from females, the males have longer, thicker tales and their belly is concave to help stop them sliding off the females during mating. They can right themselves if the ground is rough, not if it's smooth.

You might have had terrapins or turtles in your pond...........tortoises tend to drown although they do love to sit in shallow water and muddy pools. It helps them cool down or warm up (depending on the day) and helps to get rid of parasites. They have a skeleton (spine, skull and legbones) just like any other vertebrate and it's the ribs that have developed over the millenia into the external shell. Unlike most other reptiles, they don't shed their skin.

Sadly, I haven't seen or heard of the old lady in a long time, I hope perhaps a relative took her tortoise on?