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Local 'Experts'

Steve Williams

Steve Williams

Senior Member
We've all met them, and I suspect most venues have one....

My favourite is an old boy (aren't they all old boys) who walks his dog along a stretch I fish.
Every time I see him and he asks how I've done, I always say 'nothing mate', which is followed by him explaining the reasons for me not catching that night..... Its either, too high, too low, too coloured, too clear, too cold, too warm or I'm on the wrong bait.

He must think I'm the worst fisherman in the world.....;)

The funniest was a few years ago, when I was fishing a swim right next to the footpath.
Our expert came along as I was sat quietly touch ledgering.
He asked the usual question "done any good" to which I automatically replied "no mate".
He then proceed to tell me that his son had caught 6 the day before and I was in the wrong swim:rolleyes:.
Suddenly I felt the shock up the line as a Barbel picked up my paste bait.
I knew the conversation was almost over, so I flicked the ratchet off the pin and as we said our goodbyes and he started to walk away, the fish had turned with the bait and was starting to take line.....
As soon as he turned his back I swept the rod up and very quietly hooked into another nice Barbel.........


There is a new one now, on our new stretch.
Telling everyone there are no Barbel...... Its the river Severn, there ain't any stretches that don't contain Barbel.

I must have been lucky last night, as on my first trip to the venue, I fluked one......:D

Steve
 
Could your man be the "Severn Bore"?
 
i used to love these old boys when i was a kid just starting fishing.:D
you wanna go down there boy!!...LOL.
 
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There was this one geezer who was fishing ham pool at the same time I was doing a lot of tench fishing down there.

Everytime you saw him - in camo (not that it's an issue, it's just part of the character) - he would tell you about the huge 13, 14lb bream and/or tench he had caught the night before. But he would always qualify it with 'It was only a babbee'.


Then there were these couple of guys who, on a day when the gods were smiling down at me and I was catching tench steadily all weekend while most were struggling, came running down into my peg to punish me up. They were in my bait bucket, copping an eyeful of my rigs, giving me the full good cop / bad cop routine.

The following season I bumped into one of the guys on dabchick (lake 63), but he didn't recognise me. (Even though I didn't ask) he gave me song and verse all about his tactics and all the tench he had been bagging on ham the year before. Told me the best swims and where I should be casting, told me the rigs.. All of it was a carbon copy of how I was fishing that day.

'That's crafty' I said. Didn't know what else to say really. Still, at least he caught a few, always good to hear.


We had a laugh, down Cerney. Good times.
 
Then there were these couple of guys who, on a day when the gods were smiling down at me and I was catching tench steadily all weekend while most were struggling, came running down into my peg to punish me up. They were in my bait bucket, copping an eyeful of my rigs, giving me the full good cop / bad cop routine.

The following season I bumped into one of the guys on dabchick (lake 63), but he didn't recognise me. (Even though I didn't ask) he gave me song and verse all about his tactics and all the tench he had been bagging on ham the year before. Told me the best swims and where I should be casting, told me the rigs.. All of it was a carbon copy of how I was fishing that day.

'That's crafty' I said. Didn't know what else to say really. Still, at least he caught a few, always good to hear.
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Classic. Thats made me giggle :D:D:D:D:D:D
 
I am an old boy, and I have never caught anything from anywhere, ever. Had a bite once but missed it.




As ever


Hugo





 
After reading the above descriptions I am starting to wonder. Am I my local expert?:eek:
 
On a slightly different note, one old boy got wind of the fact that I was catching a few barbel and would approach me in the pub after I'd had a pint or two quizzing me about bait/rigs/pegs etc. I was never rude but tried to be as vague as possible while giving him a few tips. He then decided that I was his fishing buddy and took to following me down the bank which resulted in me fishing less productive areas until he'd cleared off. One day I spotted him hiding behind a far bank tree with a pair of binoculars trained on me!

In the end I gave up and gave him a few good pointers and even some bait. Last time I saw him he was still a barbel virgin.
 
Yes, I thought that too Crooky, trouble with getting old is that you speak to someone and then don't remember it!!


From now on I'll wander the banks and only talk to my dog, he dosn't listen either but at least he's pleased about it!!
 
Too many years ago to mention I was fishing a Kentish tench lake with my mate Jim when two adolescent 'local experts' strolled along and proceeded to tell us all about how good the fishing was. Eventually one of them informed us that Chris Turnbull fishes here and I'm sorry to say that I couldn't resist having a wind-up and telling them that Chris Turnbull was a total ******* and a compulsive liar who never caught anything worth catching, and that they should avoid him at all costs.

I wonder if they ever found out?
 
Gavin Hoe-Richardson said:
On a slightly different note, one old boy got wind of the fact that I was catching a few barbel and would approach me in the pub after I'd had a pint or two quizzing me about bait/rigs/pegs etc. I was never rude but tried to be as vague as possible while giving him a few tips. He then decided that I was his fishing buddy and took to following me down the bank which resulted in me fishing less productive areas until he'd cleared off. One day I spotted him hiding behind a far bank tree with a pair of binoculars trained on me!

In the end I gave up and gave him a few good pointers and even some bait. Last time I saw him he was still a barbel virgin.
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There called Stalkers Gavin :D
 
Chris Turnbull said:
Too many years ago to mention I was fishing a Kentish tench lake with my mate Jim when two adolescent 'local experts' strolled along and proceeded to tell us all about how good the fishing was. Eventually one of them informed us that Chris Turnbull fishes here and I'm sorry to say that I couldn't resist having a wind-up and telling them that Chris Turnbull was a total ******* and a compulsive liar who never caught anything worth catching, and that they should avoid him at all costs.

I wonder if they ever found out?
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that made me chuckle.:D:D
 
Gavin Hoe-Richardson said:
On a slightly different note, one old boy got wind of the fact that I was catching a few barbel and would approach me in the pub after I'd had a pint or two quizzing me about bait/rigs/pegs etc. I was never rude but tried to be as vague as possible while giving him a few tips. He then decided that I was his fishing buddy and took to following me down the bank which resulted in me fishing less productive areas until he'd cleared off. One day I spotted him hiding behind a far bank tree with a pair of binoculars trained on me!

In the end I gave up and gave him a few good pointers and even some bait. Last time I saw him he was still a barbel virgin.
Click to expand...

Reminds me off a fella used to fish for the huge carp in a small lake that a few friends and I had enjoyed a certain measure of success on. We were quite open about our tactics and bait, so I assume he ended up using the same. Whatever, one day, having suffered yet another blank, the poor chap packed up in a blind fury. As he passed by, trembling with rage, he shouted "You bas***ds ain't fishermen, you'r f***ing hunters....and then stormed off, never to be seen again :eek:

To this day, we haven't got a clue what he meant :D

Cheers, Dave.
 
I think I must be one of those local experts :eek:
I remember pike fishing at Old Bury Hill many years ago when a young lad wandered up with his tackle, asking what I'd caught.
'Nothing - they're very finicky here - you need to use small baits, light floats, small single barbless hooks etc. - anyway I'm packing up' says me.
Out comes his Woolworth's rod, massive pike bung, thick curly line, large hooks on crude snap tackle with a large manky roach deadbait.
First cast hooks and lands a 14 lber.
As I left I'm sure he was thinking 'silly old git' !
 
Its the chinese whispers that tickle me.
A few times I've lucky enough to witness a nice fish being caught (or if I'm really lucky land one myself :) )
A fews days later I'll be on the river and hear about the fish that came out a fews days earlier.
Strange how it usually seems to have put on weight....
 
Yesterday whilst carping on my club water,the angler in the swim to my right caught a nice common that was worth a weigh.As he had no scales or weigh sling I did the honours for him,24 and a quarter lb.Fish returned safely I return to my swim.Within half an hour a passing member of the public(park lake)asks him how he's done.The commons miraculously put on a quarter of a pound.I expect it must be nudging 30 by now:D,in less than 24hrs.
 
Fishing the Cherwell at Somerton for chub a few years ago an angler approached me and asked if there were any pike moving. I said I'd seen one swirl at small fish and he then told me about his interesting day on that stretch the previous week. Apparrently he'd landed 19 pike, 16 of them doubles with 5 being twenties. No wonder I couldn't catch any chub! Also, to top it off, he'd dropped on to the canal and had a four and a half pound perch.
Not sure if he was the local expert or the local nutcase...
 
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