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Best conditions of the month

S

Steve Double

Senior Member
On this coming Sunday. 13C and overcast down south. Perfect.

However, my missus is being unreasonable again and insists that I have to be at home for some sort of family gathering, apparently.

I hope the rest of you don't have the same problem and can make the most of the excellent opportunity.
 
Steve Double said:
On this coming Sunday. 13C and overcast down south. Perfect.

However, my missus is being unreasonable again and insists that I have to be at home for some sort of family gathering, apparently.

I hope the rest of you don't have the same problem and can make the most of the excellent opportunity.
Click to expand...

Steve, just tell her your nipping to the off license to get a top up of her favourite drink, when you got there, they had sold out. So like a real trooper, you went from shop to shop, after several hours of trying, ( as many as you need :D ) there was not a drop to be had anywhere. But you had tried your best cos you love her so much. And you will try again everyday until you catch. :D
 
Steve Double said:
On this coming Sunday. 13C and overcast down south. Perfect.

However, my missus is being unreasonable again and insists that I have to be at home for some sort of family gathering, apparently.

I hope the rest of you don't have the same problem and can make the most of the excellent opportunity.
Click to expand...

:D:D:D
It's annoying isn't it,I wonder if anyone will be fishing the river on christmas day.They'll probably be admiring all the new tackle that they've got for being a good boy throughout the year.:)
 
It certainly is annoying, and typical I suppose. There's bound to be some jammy bugger who can get away with it, I'll spend a fair bit of time trying to justify a few hours, but the chances are slim to be honest.
 
John Care said:
It certainly is annoying, and typical I suppose. There's bound to be some jammy bugger who can get away with it, I'll spend a fair bit of time trying to justify a few hours, but the chances are slim to be honest.
Click to expand...

I'm saying nowt.... but someone we know John may be catching a double or two.
But, Happy Christmas to EVERYONE!! :D:D:D
 
Ive fished many a time on Chrimbo day whilst we lived on the coast in western France. I found out traditional Boxing day is a more important day over there when you exchange gifts with the whole family. Bit of a shock the first year and my wife being French couldn't understand why i thought it was a bit strange. But that is why it's called boxing day. Anyway i used to fish for Bass and Mackeral for Christmas and Boxing day dinners. A festive dish without fish is a big no no.

Anyway have a happy Chrismas all and tighter lines next year. By the way i will be fishing new years eve as well.
 
I think it's achievable to get out but requires careful planning and an enormous amount of sherry. Essentially you need to combine two things: 1) get everyone attending your Christmas lunch violently drunk, even children and babies. 2) engineer a massive family dispute. Here, it's vital that you emerge from the row as the injured, wounded, profoundly hurt party. So much so that it all gets too much and you simply have to storm out, for air and a chance to regroup. This is where planning is vital which means the car must be packed with your stuff including appropriate clothing. Suspicions will be aroused if you storm out and then a few minutes later storm back in for your fishing tackle and bait.

Don't dive straight in with the emotional hand-grenade- build up to it. Maybe start with hiding the potatoes or a key present for a visiting aunt. Build the tension and animosity. Subtle references to past family events- when uncle Clive was caught "entertaining" some midgets in his garden shed for example. But for god's sake don't come straight out with it. Just make sure an innocent sentence contains the words "Clive" and "midget". Not easy that, hence the need to plan. Another way to set shi* off, is by interfering with those stupid jokes or proverbs that you get in crackers. Replace them with your own. Again, don't go for the jugular here, be subtle and don't draw a picture of a man in a shed with a midget. You could mime it though in a game of charades.

The other key to this is the sherry. Be the good husband/uncle/grandfather and make up baby Clive's milk. A ratio of 5:1 for milk and sherry should do it. You can reverse this if baby looks unaffected by its consumption of alcohol (it's obviously hard to tell given they stagger about and bump into stuff anyway). Ideally you want them violently sick because that, combined with being offended so badly by the massive family dispute, creates a fantastic diversion allowing a safe exit.

I should confess right now that I only ever got to try this technique once.
 
Absolutely Topper H.

Don' t forget you promised to send me the following message at 9.30am Sunday morning.

" Hello Darling, that was a fantastic night. Non stop for hours. And multiple for me. The latex was a great idea and added spice to the afternoon. And I'm glad you liked my twin sister so much

Love HONEY xxxx"

My phone will be left open on the bteakfast table as agreed.

BUT DON'T FORGET TO RING UP AT 10AM TO TELL THE MISSUS IT WAS YOUR XMAS JOKE.
 
Graham, H said subtle, that's not bloody subtle.
There would be no point having the car packed, the state your crown jewels would be in, you would be staggering like drunken baby Clive !
And why upset the misses even more by ringing half an hour later to say it was a joke, when she had spent the last 20minutes digging a big hole in the back garden for you !!!!!!
 
Sometimes there more to life then fishing. I be out after boxing day . Have a good one folks
 
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